I am a passionate person by nature. Whatever I am doing at the moment becomes my focus and I go for it with all my attention everything else gets sidelined. God created me this way and knows this so when he is trying to teach me something it works the same way. No matter where I go or what I am doing God keeps bringing the lesson to me until I get it.
Lately this lesson has been a fear of not parenting right. My second child brings up so many issues I don’t have answers to. I find myself in a state of pure fear that I am going to mess up big time. He will do something and I will think what is the answer here ??? Do I spank, put in time out, yell, and give him another chance? I will ask anyone around me what would you do and sometimes their idea sounds perfect and then later I try it and completely fail.
At this point I am in tears and feel like a complete and utter failure.
|Sleeping anywhere but the bed.|
Then, today I went to the park and there was a lady with her grandson. We chatted and talked about how lucky I am I get to stay at home and at the same time how hard it is. How at times you wish you could just go to work and leave the kids. I then said yeah, good thing the payoff is good. She looks at me and says not always. She says she stayed home with her kids and taught them to love Jesus and be kind to each other but she ended up with two prodigal kids. I felt like God was saying Whitney did you hear that… you can do everything right as you know it but I am the creator of your children they belong to me.
I get in my car and on the radio they are talking about discipline and to make sure it doesn't fall into a form of controlling. We often like to control when we are being controlled. This is what I was doing I have been parenting like I can control how my children act and if I just discipline them the best way, then I will have control. Again, God was saying Whitney these children belong to me.
I then get home and come across Beth’s blog post I am a Child and Daughter of God. As I am reading this story of prodigal children the tears begin to fall and I tell God I get it these children belong to you. I am done with trying to be the perfect parent and I am done with trying to control my kids (which I CAN’T) because ultimately they will choose for themselves. It is just my job to point them in the right direct, to pray for them and teach them. I will not always do it the right way but that is okay these children are on loan to me from God.
So if you are like me and beating yourself up over every little thing your child is doing wrong just STOP! I have to tell you too that God is so merciful with these lesson my no napping child is taking a nap in his room and it was not a fight today. Did I do the perfect thing to make him do that??? Nope, I prayed about it and God had mercy and he napped.
Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help. Hebrews 4: 14-16 (The Message)