What My Children Have Taught Me About Loving My Spouse

Did you ever notice how many books there are on loving your spouse? A LOT! Did you ever notice there are not books on how to love your baby? Why? Because no one has to teach you how to love your baby. Sure there are parenting books on how to raise your baby, but the truth is once a baby is born you love it. You don’t have to be taught or even think about it you just know how by instinct.

This instinct is not how marriage works. (Or at least not in my case.) When Sam and I were dating and engaged we loved each other like crazy and couldn't wait to get married. We had fun together and took turns doing nice things for each other.

After we were married and living together for several months there were things we learned about each other that we did not find so lovable. We never realized how hard it would be to deal with family members. Or how we each thought that the way our mom did something was the RIGHT way! Which of course caused the other one to say, "So, my mom does it this way and my momma is never wrong!" Sound familiar?

I remember one of the things that made me the craziest was the debate of what to do with butter. Yes, I said butter! Sam grew up with stick butter being left on the table in a butter dish. When he did this I told him how wrong he was and that no one in their right mind would do that! Of course he felt very insulted by this and I was left wondering when he became less than perfect.

This same scenario in reverse happened when I bought cinnamon flavored toothpaste. He thought I was crazy and no one in their right mind would ever buy cinnamon toothpaste because it burns your mouth.

Another issue was restaurant choice. He loves buffets and I do not. After many other petty little disagreements we started realizing that we were different and that marriage was a little harder than we originally thought it would be.

Fast forward almost seven years. Now we are a family of four, with two adorable little boys. Two boys that both Sam and I would both lay down our life for. They are our world. We cannot even imagine a life without them.  I am not sure there were ever two boys so well loved (as all parents say!)

Since those two joined our family we have come to realize that those little issues that I mentioned above don’t matter. The real reason is because my children have taught us what real love looks like. Children teach you that real love is going somewhere you don’t like because it makes the other person so incredibly happy. When that person is happy it makes you happy too because you get joy out of them being so happy.

Children teach you that real love is getting zero sleep because you cannot stand to see the other sick. You stay up and care for them and then when the sickness has passed you realize you both made it. Children teach you that real love is realizing that even the awful things in life are better gone through together than alone.

Children get a bad rap all the time but the truth is our children have made us better people. Our marriage is better and our whole outlook on life is better.

If Sam wants butter on a dish on the table he can have it because our children have taught me that to really love someone you love them for simply being them.

Just Keeping It Real,


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