6.14.2012

Mommy Confession ~Tough Stuff! ~





Believe it or not but that was me five years ago! Before becoming a mommy I was a dancer, a professional dancer. I breathed, slept, and lived dance. Dance was my identity. People would ask me what do you do and I would proudly respond I am a dancer!

My body was in prefect shape. I loved how I looked and never had a problem with self-esteem. 

Then I became a mother. I was amazed that I could push out a baby and felt as though I could take anything on. I was very different. While life was a little crazy and exhausting I seemed to adjust pretty well.

I became a mother for the second time. WOW....I mean I have done this before no big deal… right???
Well, kind of. Now instead of just stretch marks I have a belly pouch with stretch marks that resemble deep scars.  It’s hard because I do not like it. In fact I down right HATE it!

I am sure you are rolling your eyes saying get over yourself already but I mean really…. It’s HARD!!!

I feel like this is tough stuff that no one mentions. No one ever told me that you will have a baby and they are sooo amazing but in the process you will learn what it really means to sacrifice. Your body will no longer be just yours. No one ever told me that it would be hard to look in the mirror and like what you see. No one ever told me it would be hard when your husband tells you how great you look and you actually have to tell yourself he is telling the truth.

So as a mom I have been thinking why don’t we tell each other these things? I think it’s because saying these things makes you look selfish and ungrateful BUT heck it’s the truth!

Now that I have admitted to having low self-esteem about my stretch marks and finding it very hard to accept that I will look like this from now on you can either silently agree or ridicule me and call me selfish. Your choice but I choose to be transparent!

I love my boys and now I need to learn to love my body again…



Best,
Ramblesahm

13 comments:

  1. I love this! I have struggled with the same thing!! You are not alone at all! I try to read this quote as often as I can to try work on the self-esteem. "The Beauty Love Left Behind. A mark for every breath you took, every blink, every sleepy yawn. One for every time you sucked your thumb, waved hello, closed your eyes and slept in the most perfect darkness. One for every time you had the hiccups. One for every dream you dreamed within me. It isn't very pretty anymore. Some may even think it ugly. That's OK. It was your home. It's where I first grew to love you, where I lay my hand as I dreamed about who you were and who you would be. It held you until my arms could, and for that, I will always find something beautiful in it."

    good luck mama!

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  2. Ahhh one of the many sacrifices we make as a mother. I think many many moms don't like their bodies. I got to a nice healthy weight shortly before having kids (I was a little bit chubby growing up). And then with each kid, I gained a little more. And now that I'm pregnant for the third time, my self-esteem is pretty much down the tube. So know that you are NOT alone. I even know moms who I think look GREAT but don't feel that way about their bodies.

    I figure that when I'm done having kids (hopefully after these twins are born, we'll be done), THEN I can focus on my weight and try to get to a reasonable pants size. I say reasonable because a lot of moms' bodies won't get back to how they once were. That's just how it is, but that's okay. Our bodies were made for child bearing. Just focus on being healthy and focus on the many blessings that you do have.

    I think you're beautiful and you have such a lovely family!

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  3. KrazyforKloth thanks for your comment! I will read that quote anytime I start feel bad! It's beautiful and the truth! :)

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  4. Hi Tara,

    I wish I could change all moms perspective on themselves including me. I don't have the answer I really don't think there is a quick fix. I just know why moms are always talking about how they look. It's because it bothers A LOT of moms maybe all!
    Thanks for reading and your nice comment!! :)

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  5. Those stretch marks and that belly pouch are reminders of how amazing your body is. That you were able to create life, and house it for nine months, not once but twice! They're reminders of the love you share with your husband, and with your children.

    And they're beautiful. Every stretch mark, every bit of "pouch" - it's all beautiful.

    It's not your fault if you can't see it - we're taught from the moment we're born to focus on our "flaws." But it's those so-called flaws that make us who we are. They carry the stories of our lives, the pain, love, anger, joy. But, because we don't look like the unrealistic images in the media, or like we did when we were 20 (which is, again, unrealistic) we're taught that we're flawed, that we're, somehow, less. Unattractive. And it's repeated until we believe it.

    You don't have to believe it. I know it's hard, but try to see the beauty in it - in your body as it is now, not as it was before kids, or as you want it to be in the future - it may never happen. The beauty is there now, just as much as it ever was. It's just different now, and it will be different in the future, too.

    Anyways, I'm rambling.
    Just remember - you ARE beautiful. Every last bit of you.

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    Replies
    1. Pips,

      You offer a great point. Love this part!!

      "But it's those so-called flaws that make us who we are. They carry the stories of our lives, the pain, love, anger, joy."

      You came to to the right place to Ramble! :) Thanks for the comment! Stop by anytime.

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  6. your not selfish you are human! and everyday as mothers and wives we put ourself on the back burner. i have always fought my weight since i was a child. although i have been married 7 yrs and together for 14yrs. i still think he is lying when he tells me i look good. do i know he loves me big or thin yes, but i do feel guilty that i dont like the way i am. but over the last 4.5 yrs since my son has been born, i have had more guilt about my weight. and i have come to realize its not the number on the scale but i want to be able to keep up with my kids, lift them, run anything they want so they have fun memories. this past yr my son has started sports and if im gonna preach to practice hard and at home and eat veggies i better start myself. and although i havent lost as much as i would like since september i DEF feel stronger and less tired! i have been working on jogging and have done 3 5K since feb. so now the whole family is signed up to do one mile fun run on 4th of july!
    now that i babled about mek, the point is we Should ABSOLUTLY share the feeling and changes our body goes through. we are alowed to be weak and as women we need to support each more. so thanks for writing this alowing me to say my feelings.

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    Replies
    1. Hi TinRonk,

      Look at you!! How awesome that you have decided to change what you don't like. It can be hard to take time for ourselves but I am thinking we owe it to ourselves and family to do so.

      I am so glad you opened up and shared your honest thoughts too! I agree that we do need to support each other and be okay if we don't look like the perfect mom because after all is there even such a thing??? NO

      Thanks for stopping by! Please stop by again! :)

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  7. I hear you! Thanks for your honesty in this!

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  8. First of all, HUGS! And second, oh how I understand your thoughts perfectly right now! With my first daughter, within a few weeks, I had people saying there was no way I was just pregnant. Woohoo, a-okay with me.

    Second daughter? Considering she was a 9lb baby, I was stunned my only stretch marks were on my legs. I had other issues that I have to deal with from that labor that I hate about myself but what can ya do?

    My last pregnancy I had twins. After sliding by so easily with my daughters, my baby boys definitely did a number on me. I have the pouch that looks still pregnant if I sit over wrong, I've had to have a gallbladder surgery from issues that arised during pregnancy (Yay, add surgery scars to stretchmarks!) and well, I could go on.

    I HATE my body right now. It's not the body I used to be proud of, no more tight shirts, no more bikini, I'm still undecided if a one-piece even will get my approval this year.

    We can fight this battle to love our bodies again together because trust me, you are not alone!

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  9. That pictures up top is gorgeous!

    I'm learning to embrace my new body- not love things like stretch marks, but to accept them.

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  10. hugs hugs hugs hugs! As mommy's we often get to look back on what we used to look like, and think remember when..... But you have said it perfectly your a mommy now. You have two very sweet boys thank you for writing this post and being honest!

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