A few months after little H was born I was pretty
disappointed with how I looked and wrote a blog post titled Mommy Confession Tough Stuff.
Now it’s less than a month away from Little H first birthday and my, oh my have
my thoughts changed. I am not sure what has changed my way of thinking but I am
glad to be where I am right now.
I was having a conversation the other day with another mom
and we were talking about how we feel anything but super. I then made the
comment of maybe it is because a mother’s work is never done so even though we
may accomplish a lot we know that there is still much more to do and the next
day will inevitably hold more of the same. So we make ourselves feel like
failures.
After making this statement I thought about it for a while
and realized how awful that is to think. Our society has so many unattainable ideals
for women. One case in point, celebrities have babies and are then in skinny
jeans as soon as they leave the hospital! That makes me feel anything but super
as I still look down and see extra belly fat.
There are other times when I just want to sit down and get stuff
done. It seems that as soon as I do Little H or Little M suddenly needs me. I
just think if I had a nanny, cook or a maid, etc. I wouldn't have this problem.
The other day while I was thinking about the comment from above
it hit me. My thinking has to change.
Thinking I am a failure every day is crazy, insane and definitely not
healthy!
Now this way of thinking goes all the way back to when I was
in labor with Little M and I looked at my husband and asked him if he wanted to
switch spots with me. Why would I ever
ask him that? Giving birth is one of the most amazing things I have ever done.
Both times I gave birth I realized what a miracle life is and what an
opportunity it is to give birth. Both times I realized how gracious God is to
me and how I can do nothing without Him.
There is an ugly side to motherhood that includes dirty
diapers, lack of sleep, kids with bad manners, stretch marks, throw up, etc.
BUT there is an even more amazing side to motherhood! I am the one they ask for
when sick. I am the one who gets to kiss their soft heads and nurse them back
to sleep. I am the one who gets to see their first steps. Bottom line I am the one they want.
Wow isn’t that your dream job to do something for someone
who wants you! Now if I think of the things I feel that make me a failure such
as the continual mountain of laundry, my abs no longer being rock hard, or not
getting everything done I realize those are minor things.
I have it made! Yes I may have stretch marks and extra
weight to lose but it just reminds me that I participated in a miracle and gave
life.
I love my boys and for their sake and mine I will not see
myself as a failure. Instead I choose to see it through their eyes. I am their
booboo kisser, playmate, listener, and most of all I am their Momma.
“Let the peace of God
rule in their hearts and be thankful” Colossians 3:15
