When You Are Not Everything Someone Wanted

I love this video above, it is everything I have wanted when thinking about being a parent. Watching my babies play and toddle around and just adoring their little curiosity.

Isn't that what life is all about? Parents doting on their kids, first trips to the beach, making videos, taking photos, kids falling down and parents there to pick them up. I am this (sorry, not sorry) and I am surround by other parents who are like this.

Well, until recently that is. God has broadened my circle and along my path I found deep brokenness. It won't let me go and it's in my thoughts. When I bake and kiss booboos and all those everyday SAHM tasks I do I find my deep thoughts going elsewhere.

What happens when you grow up and you are not everything someone wanted? You didn't grow up with parents and life was scary and you never felt wanted by anyone. Instead of a gift you were just a result of someone else's choices.

Then what happens when no one sees this and you look around at the happy families and all you have ever wanted is that but for whatever reason it's not going to happen?

As a Christ follower what am I supposed to do with this brokenness? How can we change a life when we come across this? I can't be everyone's parent legally or physically. So why has God shown me this and put it in my path?

Then the answer comes and it's what I have always known, Jesus. Yup, the always right Sunday school answer . . . Jesus!

Jesus wants us. If Christ Himself values each and every one of us then what does it matter for mere mankind to want us? It's not just a cliché answer it is the ONLY answer and sometimes that means we need to show people Jesus. We need to be Jesus to people. I can still hear my old precious neighbors voice, "Christ like, Christ like, be Christ like."

We need to be the one to say you are wanted, you are so so so precious. You matter. This is going to mean we slow down, we make an extra spot at the dinner table, we get up early and we give up ourselves so we can be Jesus for people who are desperately wanting to be everything someone wanted.

Who's with me? One person at a time let's end this brokenness!

Answering Your Kids' Toughest Questions by Elyse Fitzpatrick & Jessica Thompson ~ A Parenting Book Review

Answering Your Kids' Toughest Questions

HELPING THEM UNDERSTAND Loss, Sin, Tragedies, and Other Hard Topics

Elyse Fitzpatrick & Jessica Thompson

Nonfiction / Parenting

Back Of The Book:

The Honest, Loving Answers 

Children Need to Hear

What should you say when your five-year-old asks about his dying grandma? Or when your seven-year-old wonders if the devil is real? Or when the sixth graders in your Sunday school class are talking about a tragedy they heard about on the news? When it comes to the dark and tragic aspects of our world, it can be hard to know what to say and how much.

Mother/daughter team Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson will carefully walk you through difficult conversations, one topic at a time. Speaking from personal experience, informed by child development research, these two moms offer practical insights and age-appropriate guidance.

Talking about tough topics may not be as hard as you think, and, more important, you'll see how these conversations can lead to meaningful discussions of God's unchanging goodness.

READ AN EXCERPT!

My Thoughts:

Chances are if you've got kids you've been faced with answering some pretty tough questions. How do you go about answering the really tough ones? You know the ones . . . why do people die? what about homosexuality? rape? incest? and on and on and on. What's a parent to do in an age of political correctness and the glorifying of sinful lifestyles?

The mother/daughter team of Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson take a candid look at some of the hardest questions that parents face and give solid advice on how to approach the topics with your children. From the beginning of the book they make it clear that it is impossible to give children answers without understanding the answers yourself.

Remember how your parents would sometimes answer "because I said so". Have you ever given that answer? I know I have! I usually wind up giving that answer when I myself don't quite understand why I'm giving the answer I'm giving. As parents that are trying to give godly answers to these hard questions it is important that we first understand the biblical reasoning behind the answer. 

Each chapter addresses a touchy topic. The question is asked and then the authors begin by stating what the scriptural context is. They also address what the enemy would like us to believe. The suggested answers are also divided up into age group appropriateness. We all know how awkward it can be to start answering something and realize that we have given our preschooler way too much information! Another thing they talk about is the follow up questions. This is a very thorough book for being so small. I really liked how each chapter ended with the 'In A Nutshell' segment. This small section really helped to solidify what was presented.

If you have kids or grandkids or even if you just work with kids, you need to get this book. Is every sticky question addressed in the book? Of course not, but it does give a great jumping off point for changing your thinking about how to answer tough questions. This is a great resource that you can turn to again and again when those tough questions get asked at any age.

Connect With The Authors:

www.ElyseFitzpatrick.com

Facebook

Twitter ~ @ElyseFitz

www.GiveThemGrace.com

Facebook

Twitter ~ @GiveThemGrace

Raising a Princess by John Croyle ~ A Christian Life Book Review

Raising a Princess

John Croyle

Nonfiction/ Christian Life/ Family

About the book:

Raising a P.R.I.N.C.E.S.S.: How to Raise Daughters of a King

Child advocate, former All-American football player helps parents raise daughters well.

With the success of the movie "Frozen" princesses are back in the spotlight, and much is made about raising daughters to be a princess, but what does that really mean? Former Alabama defensive back and founder of children;s safe-haven Big Oak Ranch, John Croyle, believes the answer lies in Proverbs 31:

"Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in her gates." (vs. 28-31)

In his new book, Raising a Princess, Croyle walks through the importance of raising young women in a biblical, strong and compassionate manner. Touching on themes of unconditional love, failure and trust, Croyle offers nearly four decades of wisdom in raising a godly woman from a dad's perspective.

"A hundred years from now it will not matter what kind of house we lived in, the kind of car we drove or how much money we had in the bank, but the world may be different because you and I were important in the life of a child." ~ John Croyle

In The Two Minute Drill to Manhood, he tackles the necessities of equipping young men in the most pivotal moments of their adolescence. However, in Raising a Princess Croyle writes with a different end in mind: womanhood. The end is a Proverbs 31 woman and Croyle provides parenting techniques to help the reader raise their princess to someday be a queen, Croyle's specific approach to raising young women is spelled out through the acronym P.R.I.N.C.E.S.S.

Praiseworthiness - A princess understands she is worthy of praise simply because she is made in the image of God.
Righteousness - She lives according to God's normal, not the world's normal.
Initiative - A princess makes good things happen.
Nurture - God built into girls and women an instinct to nurture that boys and men simply don't have in the same way.
Character - A girl of character knows what her deepest desires are and chooses accordingly.
Empowerment - Your princess needs to understand life isn't just something that happens to her. She has the power to choose.
Servant-Heartedness - A princess finds purpose not in being served, but in serving others.
Stability - As stability is provided for daughters, they will grow into the kind of people who help create stability for others.

My thoughts:

There were two things that drew me to this book. The first is John Croyle himself. Anyone that would give up a promising career in the NFL to start a place like Big Oak Ranch for abused and neglected children is someone that I want to listen to.

The second thing that drew me was the principle of raising daughters with the end in mind. In the end these girls are going to go on and raise daughters of their own and pass on to them what they know. If we take that into account we have a long range perspective that will impact not only our daughters but our daughter's daughters and beyond.

Most of the concepts outlined in the book aren't new, they are just under used in our current culture. John's systematic approach to raising our girls to be godly women is not only doable but practical as well.  One of the main things that you are going to come away with is the knowledge that ultimately what YOU do and model is what is going to stick with your daughter. So with that in mind I think this is really more a book about who you are as a parent than who your daughter is.

I enjoyed this book and found it to be very thought provoking. I think it would make a great addition to any parent's reading list that desires to raise a daughter worthy of the KING.

Connect with the author:

www.BigOak.org

A Dad's Prayers for His Daughter: Praying for Every Part of Her Life by Rob & Joanna Teigen ~ A Parenting Book Review

A Dad's Prayers for His Daughter: Praying for Every Part of Her Life

Rob & Joanna Teigen

Nonfiction/Parenting

Back of the book:

From the moment your little girl was born, you knew you were going to be doing a lot of praying. But you may wonder, What exactly should I be praying for?

Now the authors of 88 Great Daddy-Daughter Dates show you how to pray for every area of your daughter's life. Rob and Joanna Teigen give you a strong foundation to build a lifelong habit of prayer for your daughter with a collection of specific prayers you can use to get started right now. They include engaging stories from well-known authors like Joe Stowell, Bill Farrel, Ted Cunningham, Jim Samra, and others. And they explain a bit more of what girls go through growing up, including stress, purity issues, social pressure, modesty challenges, spiritual growth, and more.

Remember: just because you don't always understand your daughter doesn't mean that God doesn't! Start asking for his guidance, protection, and blessings today.

Read An Excerpt!

My thoughts:

This book is not only a great resource but it is also an inspiration to fathers. There are eighty-eight different situations in which your daughter would need prayer. Each of those sections begin with a verse or two of Scripture and then it is followed by an in-depth and heart-felt prayer.

My favorite part of this book was that as I read through each portion I automatically had to stop and pray for my girl. I know that this was the intention of the book, but I'm just here to tell you that they accomplished it. 

Throughout the book there are personal stories from Rob and Joanna and other fathers. These stories are openly honest and thought provoking. After reading through the book I was left with a sense of gratitude that we don't have to shoulder the whole load of raising our daughters. Our Heavenly Father has promised us again and again throughout Scripture that He is there to help us and to sustain us.

This would make a wonderful addition to any father's library. Pick up a copy for yourself or for the favorite dad's in your life!

Connect with the authors:

www.strongerdads.com

Facebook

Twitter ~ @strongerdads

Parenting ~ It's not all about me!

I am a passionate person by nature. Whatever I am doing at the moment becomes my focus and I go for it with all my attention everything else gets sidelined. God created me this way and knows this so when he is trying to teach me something it works the same way. No matter where I go or what I am doing God keeps bringing the lesson to me until I get it.

Lately this lesson has been a fear of not parenting right. My second child brings up so many issues I don’t have answers to.  I find myself in a state of pure fear that I am going to mess up big time. He will do something and I will think what is the answer here ??? Do I spank, put in time out, yell, and give him another chance? I will ask anyone around me what would you do and sometimes their idea sounds perfect and then later I try it and completely fail.

At this point I am in tears and feel like a complete and utter failure.  

Sleeping anywhere but the bed.

Then, today I went to the park and there was a lady with her grandson. We chatted and talked about how lucky I am I get to stay at home and at the same time how hard it is. How at times you wish you could just go to work and leave the kids. I then said yeah, good thing the payoff is good. She looks at me and says not always.  She says she stayed home with her kids and taught them to love Jesus and be kind to each other but she ended up with two prodigal kids. I felt like God was saying Whitney did you hear that… you can do everything right as you know it but I am the creator of your children they belong to me.

I get in my car and on the radio they are talking about discipline and to make sure it doesn't fall into a form of controlling. We often like to control when we are being controlled. This is what I was doing I have been parenting like I can control how my children act and if I just discipline them the best way, then I will have control. Again, God was saying Whitney these children belong to me.

I then get home and come across Beth’s blog post I am a Child and Daughter of God. As I am reading this story of prodigal children the tears begin to fall and I tell God I get it these children belong to you. I am done with trying to be the perfect parent and I am done with trying to control my kids (which I CAN’T) because ultimately they will choose for themselves. It is just my job to point them in the right direct, to pray for them and teach them.  I will not always do it the right way but that is okay these children are on loan to me from God.

So if you are like me and beating yourself up over every little thing your child is doing wrong just STOP! I have to tell you too that God is so merciful with these lesson my no napping child is taking a nap in his room and it was not a fight today. Did I do the perfect thing to make him do that??? Nope, I prayed about it and God had mercy and he napped.

Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help. Hebrews 4: 14-16 (The Message) 

Regret Free Parenting by Catherine Hickem, LCSW | Parenting Book Review

Info from the book: A motherhood expert teaches the seven essential principles every mom needs to confidently raise her children.

Every mother wants her children to grow up happy, healthy, and fulfilled. But reaching that destination can be full of indecision, worry, and second-guessing. Ask any mother, "Do you think you're doing a good job?" and she'll likely give you a mixed answer. In her groundbreaking book, Regret-Free Parenting, Catherine Hickem offers seven principles for mothers to raise their children well . . . and know they're doing it right.
With nearly thirty years of experience as a psychotherapist, speaker, women's ministry director, and founder of Intentional Moms, Catherine Hickem shows how to build respect, companionship, trust, and emotional health as well as how to usher confident, centered, and secure adults into the world. If any mother has ever wondered, Am I raising a good kid and am I doing it right? she needs the impactful teaching of Regret-Free Parenting.

 I thought this book was a nice change from most parenting books.I just love the idea of living a life with no regrets. Author Catherine Hickem gives parents the tools they need to parent effectively with out wondering how their children will end up. I would recommend this book to families who are looking for encouragement on how to parent and they will finish this book knowing the steps they need to take! I look forward to my husband reading this book and would give this book 4.5 stars.

Thomas Nelson Publishers has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book.