Chapter 5: What Kind Of Love Are You Making?
Theme: Sexual differences present you with a secret choice. Will I be a servant lover or a selfish lover?
Many women don’t like the way God made men. In this chapter, women will discover that God knew exactly what He was doing in making men and women so different. Each difference takes you into God’s laboratory of love and prompts you to ask the question, “Will I be a selfish lover or servant lover?”
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Chapter 5 asks us what kind of love are we making? More specifically it asks if we are being a servant lover or a selfish lover? For many of us it is both . . . sometimes I'm a servant and sometimes I'm selfish. After reading this chapter I long for nothing more than becoming a servant lover to my husband!
The scripture for this chapter is Philippians 2: 3-4. Linda and Juli put together a paraphrase of it that I would like to share with you:
"In sexual intimacy with your husband, don't let
selfishness rule. God says be humble and think of your husband as more
important than yourself. Set your mind on what your husband desires and how you
can please him"
One of the hard things to wrap our minds around is the fact that God created sex for unity between a husband and wife. So why does it cause such conflict between us? That's because God purposefully created us different to enhance the other one. Below is a picture of a graphic in the workbook that delineates the basic sexual differences of men and women.
"Remember that even before sin entered the garden of Eden, Adam and Eve had primary sexual differences in the way God created them, God declared His creation of man and woman "very good" and this very good included your sexual differences. It is hard to fathom but the differences between you and your husband are what can create the very deepest yada intimacy."
When we think of our differences this way it makes sense. To go deeper in our relationships we must be willing to give up some of our selfishness. The world around us encourages us to think of only what makes me feel good, but by now we have all probably experiences how satisfying it feels to meet the needs of others. Can't you just picture how beautiful our marriages would be if we as couples focused on pleasing the other? I certainly know that when my husband is pleasing me it in turn makes me want to please him all the more.
Let me leave you with a quote from the video that is from Gary Thomas. My prayer is that you will consider it and then apply it.
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